Talking Money With Your Partner
What happens when you and your partner have different approaches toward talking about money? Talking money with your partner can be a disaster, but there are ways to work through it together.
It’s a common scenario. One partner seemingly knows where every earned dollar goes, while the other is a carefree spirit who thrives on spontaneous decisions and purchases. One partner loves fine dining and thinks nothing of blowing $200 on haute cuisine, while the other is happy with pizza and would rather spend that money on another pair of shoes. And on it goes.
Money is personal. We all have ideas about how we think about it, spend it, save it, and try to earn it. But, when you’re sharing so much of your life with a partner, inevitably, approaches to money will sometimes clash. How do you bring up this loaded topic without it spiraling into a heated argument?
Once again, it’s Elevate Credit Union to the rescue! Read on for the ultimate guide to discussing finances with your partner.
1. Dedicate A Time
Let your partner know you’d like to talk about money, and together, choose a time and place that works for both of you. Make it a time when you can focus entirely on the topic without distractions. Allow up to an hour for this discussion.
2. Prepare Your Thoughts
There’s no need to rehearse what you want to say, but preparing a mental list of topics you’d like to discuss is essential. Include the basics, like budgeting, saving, and sharing living expenses, along with any specific issues that are bothering you or that you’d like to change.
3. Start With A Vision
Don’t jumpstart the discussion with accusatory statements like: “Do you realize you bought seven pairs of shoes this month?” or even, “I think we should stop eating out so often.”
Instead, start with a vision or a goal. Here are a few to get you thinking:
- Would you like to spend a month touring Europe?
- Wouldn’t it be amazing to move out of this apartment and buy a home of our own?
- I’d love to retire at 55. Would you?
- I’ve always wanted to open my own business and be my boss. Do you think that’s possible?
Talking about future goals will set a positive tone for your conversation before you get into the nitty-gritty details.
4. Attach Monetary Values To Your Goals
You can start talking numbers now that you’ve shared your goals and dreams. How much would it cost to spend a month’s vacation in Europe? How much would we need to save for a house in our neighborhood?
5. Create A Savings Plan
You’ve got your numbers; now, work out the plan!
Create a reasonable savings plan with your partner to help you reach your shared goal. For example, if you’re saving for a vacation, a house, or any other dream, work out how much money you’d need to put away each month and how long it would take to reach your goal.
6. Build A Budget
You’re ready to turn that dream into a reality. But first, you and your partner may need to trim some spending. Here’s where you can gently discuss specific ways to cut back. Don’t point fingers; give your partner a chance to admit to their shortcomings and be honest about your vices. Then, work out a monthly budget that accounts for all your expenses and your new savings goal.
If you want to create a detailed budget, now’s a good time to get started. You’ll need to begin tracking your expenses for the next three months to understand your expenditures and income clearly. After that, you can easily create a budget using a personal finance app like Mint or just do it the old-fashioned way, using a pen and paper. Having a clear idea of where your money is going will make you a conscious spender and a more significant saver.
7. Discuss Money Management
If you aren’t already sharing some expenses, now’s the time to bring it up. There are no hard rules here; every couple has their system. But, splitting some necessary costs, like rent and food supplies, makes sense if you’re living together. You may want to go 50/50 on this or make another arrangement that better suits your income.
Consider linking one of your accounts or opening a shared account at Elevate Credit Union. We’ve got convenient checking and saving accounts to suit every preference. Just stop by and ask how we can help. However, if you manage your joint finances, keep at least one credit card open in your name. In addition, it’s essential to establish your credit history independent of your partner’s. Otherwise, due to limited personal credit history, qualifying for later loans can be challenging.
8. Recognize Your Partner’s Strength
When dividing financial responsibilities, assign appropriate tasks to each partner’s strengths. Is your partner a stickler for dates and deadlines? Have them assume responsibility for paying the bills on time. Are you a numbers freak? You might want to be in charge of managing your joint investments. Is your partner the thriftier shopper? Let them do the grocery shopping while you split the costs.
Talking money with your partner is now a breeze. Congrats! You’ve made it through the big-money talk without any major fireworks! Now go and make those dreams happen!
